Happy Easter (a few days later)

There will be a lot more updating on this weekend later when I have time to sit. Until then, here is a sneak peak at my little Easter bunny. I will likely re-do this photo shoot in a couple months when she fits in the suit better and I can take her outside for better lighting.

Dakota had to have three shoots for his first Easter just cause he was a stinker!
(click here to see them)
I do this now because I dont want a broken hearted little girl someday to ask me why I took so many dress-up pictures of her brother and not of her. It's only fair right? besides, I love it!

See more here

Pretty purple Easter dress

Here is my little Easter Princess

thanks to Lisa & Dad for the froofy froof

Here is my cute picture of the day.
gotta love it

One L or two ?

Alright, this has been bothering me for a while now.
Why don't I just listen to my first inclinations
rather than be swayed and second guess my desires?

When I chose Lily's name, I wrote it out several times with many different middle name alternatives. In the end I love her name and am very happy with it (unlike Dakota who I desperately wanted to name Charlie -but that's another subject)
Well, I always wrote it out L-i-l-l-y (two middle Ls rather than one)
I changed it at the last minute to Lily
because that's how the flower is spelled.
According to the census it is divided about 50/50 in preference on how to spell it. I never feel irritated or anything when people misspell her name because one should not expect others to automatically know.
But, when I see it written out with 2 middle Ls
I know deep down I like it better!
I've been told that it doesn't matter and to just leave it.
Is it really so small an issue?
If it bugs me this much then why not simply change it now before it become harder to do so?
I guess I have decided to do this. So there it is.
I will bit by bit change all the silly forms and certificates that make her official

and her name will be
Lilly

Butterflies & IHop

Yesterday I took the kids to Meijer Gardens to see the butterflies

I dressed up Lil' in her granny-high butterfly pants
and tortured 'kota with another family love photo

He was much more into the "tunnel"

So I let him run in & out while we had a little girl time

Hi butterflies!

Afterwards we just didn't feel ready to go home so decided
to stop at the local IHop for some kids friendly food in a booth.
(note to self: there is no healthy adult food in that place)

I have 50 dollars saved up

and I want to buy a blessing gown for Lily
but it's kind of hard to find something right.
Most of them in the stores have crosses all over them
which I think is cheesy.
and surprisingly, they are outrageously expensive.
I was going to use the gown that I was blessed in, which would be so very sweet, but when I tried it on her it looked really weird because it is just one sheer piece of fabric so you just see diaper and socks - not to mention it's very cold. Even with a onesie underneath it looks odd so....
this is my special splurge (call it a birthday present for myself)
I am having trouble deciding though.
Maybe you can help?
Click the link on the pictures and tell me what you think in the Poll to the side.

A: This dress has a ver similar version at babies r us for $50. (different bonnet)


B: This one has a v neck and bow in front but I wonder if the lace is just too much

C: This one is a simple cotton with eyelet trim

D: This one in a poly dupioni fabric which is a little fancier

E: This dress is my very favorite and comes with matching booties!
but it is way too much for me - alas :_(

First smiles :)

Move that Bus!

In this episode my little guy is playing the part of crazy loud Ty (not a far stretch)
and the fireman hat is really supposed to be a red construction hat.
I am simply the interpreter.

Tip # 367

Don't leave your two year old alone with the paint even for one minute!

Tip #368
Always remember his smock.....

What a little bribery can do

Dakota Jack has not shown a bit of interest in his little sister yet.
To say the least, he is quite irritated by her presence.
In fact, if I am holding her and he wants a hug too he will go to the other side of me and shrug his shoulder as far from her as possible so as not to let even their clothes touch.
So this Sunday was very special. Not only was it Lily's first time to church (and mine with two kids and no husband) but I convinced Dakota (with the promise of a lollipop) to actually sit next to his sister for a little picture.

You can see his reluctance here

Then I begged for one step closer; an arm around her.

Here are his true feelings about that!

A quick reminder of his reward awaiting and I am treated with this:

Yoga & underwear: not at the same time, though that is nice too

Sleeping babes

This is what happens after I put him back into bed several times in the night then decide to give up and let him play until he poops out.

These are my little Lily lips!

Noodle Art & music apprectiation time~

It is snippets like this where I fool my viewers into thinking

I'm a mother who has it all together.
Structure, obedience, culture and creativity.


My biggest scam: quiet kids -

Mommy's little helper

if only this were typical....

Tribute to my donors~

The only problem with having so many cute outfits at this age

is not having anyone to see them!
Lily goes through at least two or three darling ensembles a day
and has even outgrown a some!
(she gained two pounds in two weeks)
So to make sure the cuteness doesn't go unnoticed,
nor my great appreciation to those who have been so generous,
(I have not had to buy a single article of clothing yet)
I've decided to try to document as many outfits as possible
before it's too late.

Thank you
Joanne, Angela, Tracie, Ma (Deb),
Sandrine, Mary-Dawn, Bree, Lisa,
Liz & her kids: Elsa & Anika, and Dr VanHoose of cooose!
There are other fabulous friends and gifts of course
but these are my main sources of clothing.
Oh I hope I didn't forget anyone!
If I did then it's purely due to sleep deprivation!

Shhhh..... Don't tell daddy!

~Just a little fun with toes~

Quick Dakota- Put on your socks before daddy gets home!
;)

My wild child

No I haven't forgotten about you little guy. You are my number little boy.

I know it's been hard sharing me with your new sister. I can tell by the way you are constantly telling me "baby nap! baby nap!" as you point to her bed. Oh and the stamping and kicking and demanding that I watch you every second gives it away too. Not to mention the evil glares you dart her way. (yes I saw them). It's rough I know but things will get better as she gets bigger.

So even though I can hardly keep my eyes open, lets have a little fun.
How about some finger-painting?
We could put some extra bubbles in your bath?

Or better yet, a little outing to the gardens, just you and me! (big thanks to the bishop's wife, sis Robinaugh for babysitting). We can see butterflies, turtles, flowers & have lunch in the playhouse. Hang in there buddy - Mommy loves you!

One tiring vacation nowhere~

Well, this is it. Keith's last day of vacation. Tomorrow I will officially be on my own! And wouldn't you know it, his first day back is an "on call" day. (that means a 30ish hr shift)
Of course, now we can both complain about being "post call" since we'll get about the same amount of sleep ;) I love you honey - Thanks for all your help!

Lover Boys!

Thank you to the two sweetest guys in the world!!!!!!

What a lovely Valentine's Day full of cards, flowers and best of all
Chocolate covered fruit!

I love my guys
~xoxoxox~

Happy Valentines's Day

from our newest cupid!

Our Little Lily

Before, During & After pix

I'm afraid I've been too busy or tired to get online for more than a few minutes these weeks.
So here is the little recap. The birth itself went mostly well I suppose.
I met my doctor around 7am. We decided that it would be a good time to break my water now but I was pretty nervous as my epidural wasn't in yet. I asked to go to the bathroom first and when I came back, I looked down and announced that I thought I was still peeing!
Everyone had a good laugh and I realized that it was a darn good thing I went in that day rather than trying to wait out another week.
Then the contractions came roaring in quite quickly and intensely. I hollered for my epidural and while I was hunched over in regular intervals of agony, the anesthesiologist mossied on in.
She then proceeded to poke my back & scrape my spine again and again and again. Keith looked concerned. When it was finally in they had me lean back and told me it takes about 20 minutes to kick in so just wait & endure.
20 minutes go by. Then 40. A triple dose gets administered. A hand goes to her chin & a confused "hm?" is released. I tell her she can try to put it in again because its not working at all!!!! They check me and I went from a 4 to 7cm in that time. Apparently the meds can't keep up with me. yikes -
But fortunately it eventually did just in the nik of time. 30 minutes later...
Vwala!

Note for comparison-
Dakota's labor: nearly 17 hours
Total push time: 3hrs
Epidural a cinch
long healing time
Major cone-head ("he came from France")

Lily's Labor: less than 4 hours
30 minutes of pushing
Epidural nightmare
healing quickly
Pretty little round head

Welcome to the world!

T minus ten

I forgot my camera card insert thingy- so I can't post the pix I've been taking for you -darn!

I am currently in the hospital all hooked up to an IV.

I am contracting but nothing major yet.

Keith is trying to sleep next to me but just got paged again.

He had a super way busy night. I feel bad for him but will need him to perk up a bit for me eventually.

Just thinking about my little Dakota waking up without his mommy for the first time ever.

:(

oh, his beeper went off again.

I only had 3 hours of sleep last night myself.

But i like to crack jokes and be silly when im nervous so thats how ive been.

Oooh, ouch -that one kind of hurts.

All for now...

Get-er-Done!

Alright, here is the basic plan just so you feel updated and in-the-know.
I went to the doctor today.
I am about 4cm dilated.
I am heading into the hospital at 3:00am (tomorrow) to start the process.
I have a friend, maybe more, who will be coming over to babysit - Bless their hearts.
Keith is on call now. (that means he doesn't get off his shift until late tomorrow morning)
So I am driving myself to the hospital. He should be able to sneak away now and then to be with me through the first phase. (unless he can't).
He will be very tired that day but gets Thursday & Friday off for paternity leave.
Then I think my mother-in-law is coming for a week after all.
Then she leaves and Keith has the second week in Feb off again.
That's the plan.

My feelings about an induction:
For those who were following two years ago you may remember my live blogging that day.
I went in for an induction a couple days before my due date because my doctor (who delivered me & I really liked) was leaving on vacation and since i really wanted him, I was encouraged to just get-er-done.
I was 90% effaced and seemed ready, so they put me on a pitocin drip and then we just waited.
And waited,
and waited.
Periodically the nurse would come in and up my dose to eventual max during which time I continued to have mild-moderate contractions but nothing to get-it-done.
This lasted 12 hours before I became overwhelmed, exhausted & totally frustrated.
The docs came in scratching their heads and said that it was bizarre not to work and I was a rarity. I pulled the cords out of my arm and shlumped home in tears only to hide out in an emotional heap for another very uncomfortable ten days before going in to start it all over again.
That time the Misoprostol was what worked and yadda yadda yadda - Dakota.
Needless to say, I was not inclined to go for an induction again unless I was at least week late (since then the baby is safer out than in).
I'm only going in for this now because I am already dilated and have two windows of opportunity to have this baby with Keith at my side. Now or next week. Anywhere in between would not be good for other various reasons and I'm not sure that I can keep my knees together that long.
So here we go again.
Am I scared? Yes. I get extreme anxiety with this kind of stuff
but I can definitely say i don't feel as scared as last time. No big deal right.
I have been much distracted by my concerns for Dakota being tended to and my inability to choose a name!
I'll try to keep this updated as I go but no promises ;)
Let the games begin!

Rand's Fireman Party

Saturday we were lucky to enjoy a great party for Dakota's friend Rand turning 3.
It started off at the fire department where all the kids got to see & get inside a real live Firetruck!
Dakota was a little overwhelmed by it at the time but ever since that party, He hasn't been able to stop talking about fire trucks. He thinks they are the coolest!

Baby Shower Luncheon with the girls

I had a lovely baby-lunch last week with some of my dear girlfriends. They each prepared something super yummy and beautiful and gave me great gifts! Danielle (the hostess) made the loveliest "amuse-gueule" of shrimp & goat cheese in lettuce (what is it called?) & prosciutto cups with pears. Sandrine made the cutest baby block cake & cupcakes. Carrie & Allison each made the yummiest gourmet soups.
Mmm Mmm good!
The neatest part for me was that daddy was post call and agreed to watch Dakota at home so I wouldn't have to chase after him for a couple hours. It's amazing how much quieter the other kids play without my little guy there. I wonder if I should be concerned about this?
Anyway, A big thank you to my lovely friends!

The Long list

Okay then, here is my list. But there's a catch.
Some are real and some are not.
I'll bet you'd be surprised which is which
but go ahead and take a shot!

Adeen
Athena
Agatha
Alberta
Allegra
Alice
Almundina
Alta
Amora
Aruba
Asia
Aviva
Axelle
Barefoot
Bernadine
Beryl
Bethsheba
Beulah
Birdie
Blanche
Bliss
Bonnie-jo
Breezy
Bridgette
Briza
Butterfly
Caffaria
Cashmere
Carmen
Celestina
Chakra
China
Cheyenne
Charly
Claire
Cinderella
Clover
Cloud
Coral
Coyote
Dalilah
Daphne
Davine
Delfina
Delight
Delmar
Demi
Dior
Dorothy
Dynah
Daisy-Jane
Edwina
Eartha
Edna
Elbow
Eeva
Eleonore
Elisabeth
Elka
Elvita
Elynn
Erwina
Eugenie
Eyota
Ever
Faye
Fallon
Farrah
Fauna
Fern
Fynballa
Gabrielle
Garland
Genevieve
Gillian
Giselle
Gudrun
Hadley
Hagar
Heidi
Heloise
Honey
Ida
Igraine
India
Irelyn
Inis
Isabelle
Isis
Ivy
Indal
Iowa
Jakoba
Jada
Jasmine
Jaycie
Jewel
Jolie
Josephine
Juliet
Juno
Kaesha
Karél
Kaia
Kaprice
Karma
Katrina
Kal-Ella
Keira
Keva
Kiona
Linda
Lemonia
Lala
Lake
Leala
Liezel
Linne
Lola
Lorraina
Love
Luella
Luisa
Lynette
Macy
Maeve
Montana
Meadow
Maxine
Mariah
Marigold
Matilda
Mavis
Maude
Maxine
Mercedes
Mignon
Millicent
Modeste
Moxie
Mistique
Neely
Narnia
Nelda
Nevada
Nitza
Nova
Nudar
Nusa
Oleander
Oda
Odella
Odessa
Omah
Orva
Paili
Paisly
Pansy
Pax
Pedra
Pistol
Piper
Pilot
Pink
Petunia
Phoebe
Poppy
Pollyanna
Queenie
Ramunda
Ramona
Raven
Rilla
Riva
Roxanne
Rose
Roderickina
Space
Sally
Samantha
Sapphira
Scarlet
Saturn
Segunda
Serafina
Sidonie
Sora
Star
Strawberry
Sunshine
Storm
Sylvia
Tabora
Tabitha
Taite
Tangerine
Teal
Taylor
Tempest
Tiger
Thomasina
Tobya
Tuesday
Ulla
Unna
Valerie
Vega
Vevina
Viola
Water
Wilhelmina
Willoughby
Winifrid
Xena
Yasmina
Yetta
Yvette
Zanetta
Zarra
Zia
Zena

The Name Game - It's crunch time

Last time around I posted our long list of name ideas and asked for people to vote their favs or send additional recommendations. The responses were hilarious (if not offensive) especially from my brother of course. (This is the edited down short list but my brother's comment is in reference to the long list which I probably should have left up because it makes his comment even funnier but you get the point- he ragged on everything)
This time however I felt like maybe I didn't want hear anyone's opinion and would simply choose something quietly. Then again, that's just not as fun is it. At least for others.
Now with only a week to go and daily pressure in my uterus increasing, the pressure is also intensifying to finally hunker down and pick a stinkin' name!
We have a list we've been going through and tried out several names for a week at a time; referring to her by that name out loud to see if it sticks. We have a couple runner's up so far but it seems to be even harder to match them up with a middle name.

So before I decide if I will post our list, I would like to know what you think.
Should I not do so at all?
Should I post our long or short list?
Do you have any cool suggestions that could get on the list?
Maybe a name we've never heard of? (since this time I actually haven't done that much looking around)
What about good sounding combos?
Are there any names I should definitely avoid? (and not just because you're saving it for yourself)
And if I do post my list, will you promise not to tease any of them?(Roderick?)

Monkey Butt

Who remembers me complaining about my cat Monkey? She's a very nice cat actually. Sweet and affectionate and she never pees on the carpet - just the sink.
I had that flea fiasco with her a while back where I tried for months to bathe, comb, borax, vacuum, flea collar & meds behind the neck them away. None of that worked of course. Then when my baby ended up covered in red dots (ie. flea bites) I decided to get rid of the darn cat.
I eventually felt super guilty and wound up discovering two flea pills that worked wonders which I still give her fleas or not.
She prefers to be an outside cat most the time. Well, at least until we moved to Michigan. She spent most the summer outside but when the weather turned and she came inside and I decided to pet her. Yuck. She was covered in matts from head to tail! Had she lost all inclination to groom herself throughout her wilderness ramblings? It was beyond a simple cutout job for me so I called around some vets & grooming places to see about shaving. Yikes. The one place willing to shave a cat wanted 70 bucks & proof of rabies shots (which she did not have) and since a vet visit etc etc was also too much I wound up spending $40 on a pet shaver (since human clippers don't work - tried that too) and did it myself. That was a fun two-day scratchy event.
Now she was funny looking but for once she didn't gross me out and I actually was good to her for a few days.
The thing is, as nice of a creature that she is, I just don't like cats and it is becoming more and more apparent. Pregnancy brings out the worst in me towards her. The first time around I was paranoid that she would smother or scratch my new baby especially after I caught her sleeping in my new bassinet! Oh the fury of my wrath at that. She seemed to learn her lesson on that one and never did it again until now that I have brought it out once again. Does she not remember the simple rule that she is not aloud to even look upon baby things? She has always been very good with Dakota even now that he gets a kick out of pulling her tail though she mostly just tries to avoid him (good kitty). But I've had enough. again. I think it's the poop that puts me over the edge. It's just not worth it anymore. They say that pregnant women should stay away from cat poop as they can get toxoplasmosis which causes birth defects. Very bad. Very dangerous. I tried to get rid of her once before but in the end felt too guilty and reluctantly felt it was my duty to keep her at this point and just hope she gets sick and dies and early death. (they live something like 18 years! what was I thinking?) . I don't have the choice but to clean up her poop myself. Everyday, twice a day. It's worse now that she is inside all the time getting fatter and fatter. And she's getting fatter because she is not outside running and catching her own prey for supper and pooping in the woods, which saves me money on both food & litter. I'm starting to cringe at the store when I have to buy her big bag of food and kitty litter and think to myself "this could buy me a case of diapers which I need much more than a stupid pet".
So enough already! I posted an add on craigslist (again) and received one reply.
A young guy with his younger girlfriend came by to look at her. She freaked and they asked how she was with dogs. Um, not good. So now I wait and wait for some magical cat lover to wisk her to a cat friendly home and ease my frustration and guilt. I know everyone has their opinions about this. And my attitude changes somewhat with my swinging hormone levels. Some say it's just an animal - it doesn't matter. On the other hand it is a living domesticated creature that has feelings and needs to be delt with humanely.
But lets be frank. It's time to admit that I am simply not a cat person, I don't have the temperment or resources to care for her properly, she disgusts me, and I just made a big kitty mistake. So somebody rescue me! er uh, I mean her.
Do you think it's out of line to pray for her to go to a better home? I want to the kind thing (and be a "good person") and not just put her down. Yes yes- that is totally cruel and out of line but not something I haven't thought of. But who the heck adopts an adult cat instead of a kitten?
Anyway, If you have read this far I am totally amazed. I'm just rambling on my little blog about my silly cat woes. But hey, If you or somebody you knows wants a nice cat - you know where to find one!

31 Dates in 31 Days

This is my super cool friend Tamara. She's a hip chick working for Good Morning America and livin' the single life in NY city.

She is also doing a great experiment in dating and posting it on this site:

http://31datesin31days.com/

If you know an awesome dude in the NY area looking for a wholesome date and willing to be blogged about then send this gal a line.

On the bright side.....

Well, thanks for listening and sending a bit of comfort.
I am very grateful for my blessings too. I know I'm loaded with them.
Like the new camera my dear in-laws gave me for Christmas. I'm still trying to figure out all it's cool functions and it reminds me of the days when I had a real hobby. When i fantasized of working for national geographic and traveling the world in search of that one great shot! Okay, I know i was never any good but a girl can dream right? So this gift is extra special to me and feels extremely extravagant in our current circumstances which makes me a little embarrassed to have it, but secretly very giddy ;)
I've also been reading books lately. It's the greatest advantage of insomnia.
I used to read a lot and it makes me super happy but little did I realize how long it had been since I had time to do so (and the neurotic late night compulsion). I think it has been just another aspect of my nesting syndrome. I know how tiered i'll soon be and the fact that this is my last chance for possibly a long long time so im stocking up my brain.
Another fabulous blessing:
I didn't gain any weight this week! for the first time all pregnancy. And if I stay this way then I will be 15lbs less than my first. Don't get me wrong, Im still fat - just not as fat! yay :)
(note: the pictures in the header are from first pregnancy not this one)
And then
something cool happened...
I received these giant boxes of baby clothes from Joanne & Ty. She is Angela's sister who is Doug's wife who is my Mother's brother. Whom I have become much closer with after she died and I happened to find before my wedding. Yes, I am so very blessed to have the Haldeman's in my life. I love love love them!
And so now I have more girl clothes for the first 9 months then I had for dakota in two years!
Wow. Check out this closet!
The only thing I was a little short on were newborn sizes.
Then what do you know - another box arrives from the Terrills crammed full with ity bity baby sizes! Have I ever mentioned how much I love and admire the Terrills (keith's cousins)? Well I do. They have always been so warm and helpful to us. They even put us in their master bedroom last time we went to visit! You don't see that in this country much. They just had their darling little girl Baylie. So next time we visit our girls will be pretty close in age :)
I have always felt to be short on family and a bit of a dissconnect with a few. Especially with the loss of my mother. (Nothing in my life has come close to that pain and maybe I'll talk about that another time).
And though it's true there is no family nearby and never really has been, it's my greatest blessing to reconnect with old relatives, marry into new ones, and create a fresh family of our own.

A little venting when there's no one around to talk to...

I am filled with anxiety every day now. I'm big. I feel very big.
I'm also troubled with worry that there is so much to do, or at least that I'd like to get done, before our arrival. I am stressed by a handful of big ticket items that we haven't been able to get yet and the inevitable increase of living expenses when we can barely manage the basics now. I am exhausted by Dakota and his new phase of demanding all my undivided attention every moment. I try to imagine what one night away from him would be like. Not that I don't totally and utterly love him to the greatest depths only a mother can. It's just, well, a childless weekend (not to mention single day) is something I haven't experienced in over two years and it wouldn't be entirely a bad thing.
I am consumed with the need to organize, systematize, and categorize.
I even made a "Neaman Family Folder" for my mother-in-law when she comes to visit.
(It has pages including: Dakota's daily schedule/ Ideas for activites & outings / take out places nearby & their menus / mapquest directions and of course vital numbers & information.)
Everything feels dirty!
My garbage disposal is broken and there is sink vomit everywhere.
Technically it has been broken for a year now but we keep patching it up with putty. It's beyond putty now.
So we stopped using that half of the sink.
Must keep cleaning.
Picture an up-side-down camel on all fours scrubbing the cracks between the floor boards and vacuuming behind the air vents. Then picture a beached whale with a monkey bouncing on top of her. That's me.

I walk very slowly.
Sometimes I have to stop and just stand there. Even in public.
I'm also lonely. It's not his fault but I sure wish that people would stop doing so many stupid things like stabbing each other, putting their faces on chainsaws, crashing cars & smoking. It makes for a busy hospital, tired doctors and lonely wives.

Not that I'm complaining. I know I know, in another half a decade from now it will all be worth it. Just keep looking ahead. But what about my uterus now? It's tiered.
I'm tiered - yet I can't sleep at night with my mind racing.
I do however get very drowsy right at the moment that Dakota wakes up. Why is that?
Oh my goodness! I just realized that we haven't settled on a name yet!
And the office is a mess
and my photos need to be copied & deleted from my computer
and this pile of cards need to be written and mailed.
Doh! Im out of stamps.
And I haven't finished painting the rooms.
What if my boobs don't work this time?
What if I go early and there is no one available to watch Dakota?
What if Keith can't get covered to be with me?
What if I'm late- ugg - again....
Or if there is a problem.
The ceiling fans look dusty.