T minus ten

I forgot my camera card insert thingy- so I can't post the pix I've been taking for you -darn!

I am currently in the hospital all hooked up to an IV.

I am contracting but nothing major yet.

Keith is trying to sleep next to me but just got paged again.

He had a super way busy night. I feel bad for him but will need him to perk up a bit for me eventually.

Just thinking about my little Dakota waking up without his mommy for the first time ever.

:(

oh, his beeper went off again.

I only had 3 hours of sleep last night myself.

But i like to crack jokes and be silly when im nervous so thats how ive been.

Oooh, ouch -that one kind of hurts.

All for now...

Get-er-Done!

Alright, here is the basic plan just so you feel updated and in-the-know.
I went to the doctor today.
I am about 4cm dilated.
I am heading into the hospital at 3:00am (tomorrow) to start the process.
I have a friend, maybe more, who will be coming over to babysit - Bless their hearts.
Keith is on call now. (that means he doesn't get off his shift until late tomorrow morning)
So I am driving myself to the hospital. He should be able to sneak away now and then to be with me through the first phase. (unless he can't).
He will be very tired that day but gets Thursday & Friday off for paternity leave.
Then I think my mother-in-law is coming for a week after all.
Then she leaves and Keith has the second week in Feb off again.
That's the plan.

My feelings about an induction:
For those who were following two years ago you may remember my live blogging that day.
I went in for an induction a couple days before my due date because my doctor (who delivered me & I really liked) was leaving on vacation and since i really wanted him, I was encouraged to just get-er-done.
I was 90% effaced and seemed ready, so they put me on a pitocin drip and then we just waited.
And waited,
and waited.
Periodically the nurse would come in and up my dose to eventual max during which time I continued to have mild-moderate contractions but nothing to get-it-done.
This lasted 12 hours before I became overwhelmed, exhausted & totally frustrated.
The docs came in scratching their heads and said that it was bizarre not to work and I was a rarity. I pulled the cords out of my arm and shlumped home in tears only to hide out in an emotional heap for another very uncomfortable ten days before going in to start it all over again.
That time the Misoprostol was what worked and yadda yadda yadda - Dakota.
Needless to say, I was not inclined to go for an induction again unless I was at least week late (since then the baby is safer out than in).
I'm only going in for this now because I am already dilated and have two windows of opportunity to have this baby with Keith at my side. Now or next week. Anywhere in between would not be good for other various reasons and I'm not sure that I can keep my knees together that long.
So here we go again.
Am I scared? Yes. I get extreme anxiety with this kind of stuff
but I can definitely say i don't feel as scared as last time. No big deal right.
I have been much distracted by my concerns for Dakota being tended to and my inability to choose a name!
I'll try to keep this updated as I go but no promises ;)
Let the games begin!

Rand's Fireman Party

Saturday we were lucky to enjoy a great party for Dakota's friend Rand turning 3.
It started off at the fire department where all the kids got to see & get inside a real live Firetruck!
Dakota was a little overwhelmed by it at the time but ever since that party, He hasn't been able to stop talking about fire trucks. He thinks they are the coolest!

Baby Shower Luncheon with the girls

I had a lovely baby-lunch last week with some of my dear girlfriends. They each prepared something super yummy and beautiful and gave me great gifts! Danielle (the hostess) made the loveliest "amuse-gueule" of shrimp & goat cheese in lettuce (what is it called?) & prosciutto cups with pears. Sandrine made the cutest baby block cake & cupcakes. Carrie & Allison each made the yummiest gourmet soups.
Mmm Mmm good!
The neatest part for me was that daddy was post call and agreed to watch Dakota at home so I wouldn't have to chase after him for a couple hours. It's amazing how much quieter the other kids play without my little guy there. I wonder if I should be concerned about this?
Anyway, A big thank you to my lovely friends!

The Long list

Okay then, here is my list. But there's a catch.
Some are real and some are not.
I'll bet you'd be surprised which is which
but go ahead and take a shot!

Adeen
Athena
Agatha
Alberta
Allegra
Alice
Almundina
Alta
Amora
Aruba
Asia
Aviva
Axelle
Barefoot
Bernadine
Beryl
Bethsheba
Beulah
Birdie
Blanche
Bliss
Bonnie-jo
Breezy
Bridgette
Briza
Butterfly
Caffaria
Cashmere
Carmen
Celestina
Chakra
China
Cheyenne
Charly
Claire
Cinderella
Clover
Cloud
Coral
Coyote
Dalilah
Daphne
Davine
Delfina
Delight
Delmar
Demi
Dior
Dorothy
Dynah
Daisy-Jane
Edwina
Eartha
Edna
Elbow
Eeva
Eleonore
Elisabeth
Elka
Elvita
Elynn
Erwina
Eugenie
Eyota
Ever
Faye
Fallon
Farrah
Fauna
Fern
Fynballa
Gabrielle
Garland
Genevieve
Gillian
Giselle
Gudrun
Hadley
Hagar
Heidi
Heloise
Honey
Ida
Igraine
India
Irelyn
Inis
Isabelle
Isis
Ivy
Indal
Iowa
Jakoba
Jada
Jasmine
Jaycie
Jewel
Jolie
Josephine
Juliet
Juno
Kaesha
Karél
Kaia
Kaprice
Karma
Katrina
Kal-Ella
Keira
Keva
Kiona
Linda
Lemonia
Lala
Lake
Leala
Liezel
Linne
Lola
Lorraina
Love
Luella
Luisa
Lynette
Macy
Maeve
Montana
Meadow
Maxine
Mariah
Marigold
Matilda
Mavis
Maude
Maxine
Mercedes
Mignon
Millicent
Modeste
Moxie
Mistique
Neely
Narnia
Nelda
Nevada
Nitza
Nova
Nudar
Nusa
Oleander
Oda
Odella
Odessa
Omah
Orva
Paili
Paisly
Pansy
Pax
Pedra
Pistol
Piper
Pilot
Pink
Petunia
Phoebe
Poppy
Pollyanna
Queenie
Ramunda
Ramona
Raven
Rilla
Riva
Roxanne
Rose
Roderickina
Space
Sally
Samantha
Sapphira
Scarlet
Saturn
Segunda
Serafina
Sidonie
Sora
Star
Strawberry
Sunshine
Storm
Sylvia
Tabora
Tabitha
Taite
Tangerine
Teal
Taylor
Tempest
Tiger
Thomasina
Tobya
Tuesday
Ulla
Unna
Valerie
Vega
Vevina
Viola
Water
Wilhelmina
Willoughby
Winifrid
Xena
Yasmina
Yetta
Yvette
Zanetta
Zarra
Zia
Zena

The Name Game - It's crunch time

Last time around I posted our long list of name ideas and asked for people to vote their favs or send additional recommendations. The responses were hilarious (if not offensive) especially from my brother of course. (This is the edited down short list but my brother's comment is in reference to the long list which I probably should have left up because it makes his comment even funnier but you get the point- he ragged on everything)
This time however I felt like maybe I didn't want hear anyone's opinion and would simply choose something quietly. Then again, that's just not as fun is it. At least for others.
Now with only a week to go and daily pressure in my uterus increasing, the pressure is also intensifying to finally hunker down and pick a stinkin' name!
We have a list we've been going through and tried out several names for a week at a time; referring to her by that name out loud to see if it sticks. We have a couple runner's up so far but it seems to be even harder to match them up with a middle name.

So before I decide if I will post our list, I would like to know what you think.
Should I not do so at all?
Should I post our long or short list?
Do you have any cool suggestions that could get on the list?
Maybe a name we've never heard of? (since this time I actually haven't done that much looking around)
What about good sounding combos?
Are there any names I should definitely avoid? (and not just because you're saving it for yourself)
And if I do post my list, will you promise not to tease any of them?(Roderick?)

Monkey Butt

Who remembers me complaining about my cat Monkey? She's a very nice cat actually. Sweet and affectionate and she never pees on the carpet - just the sink.
I had that flea fiasco with her a while back where I tried for months to bathe, comb, borax, vacuum, flea collar & meds behind the neck them away. None of that worked of course. Then when my baby ended up covered in red dots (ie. flea bites) I decided to get rid of the darn cat.
I eventually felt super guilty and wound up discovering two flea pills that worked wonders which I still give her fleas or not.
She prefers to be an outside cat most the time. Well, at least until we moved to Michigan. She spent most the summer outside but when the weather turned and she came inside and I decided to pet her. Yuck. She was covered in matts from head to tail! Had she lost all inclination to groom herself throughout her wilderness ramblings? It was beyond a simple cutout job for me so I called around some vets & grooming places to see about shaving. Yikes. The one place willing to shave a cat wanted 70 bucks & proof of rabies shots (which she did not have) and since a vet visit etc etc was also too much I wound up spending $40 on a pet shaver (since human clippers don't work - tried that too) and did it myself. That was a fun two-day scratchy event.
Now she was funny looking but for once she didn't gross me out and I actually was good to her for a few days.
The thing is, as nice of a creature that she is, I just don't like cats and it is becoming more and more apparent. Pregnancy brings out the worst in me towards her. The first time around I was paranoid that she would smother or scratch my new baby especially after I caught her sleeping in my new bassinet! Oh the fury of my wrath at that. She seemed to learn her lesson on that one and never did it again until now that I have brought it out once again. Does she not remember the simple rule that she is not aloud to even look upon baby things? She has always been very good with Dakota even now that he gets a kick out of pulling her tail though she mostly just tries to avoid him (good kitty). But I've had enough. again. I think it's the poop that puts me over the edge. It's just not worth it anymore. They say that pregnant women should stay away from cat poop as they can get toxoplasmosis which causes birth defects. Very bad. Very dangerous. I tried to get rid of her once before but in the end felt too guilty and reluctantly felt it was my duty to keep her at this point and just hope she gets sick and dies and early death. (they live something like 18 years! what was I thinking?) . I don't have the choice but to clean up her poop myself. Everyday, twice a day. It's worse now that she is inside all the time getting fatter and fatter. And she's getting fatter because she is not outside running and catching her own prey for supper and pooping in the woods, which saves me money on both food & litter. I'm starting to cringe at the store when I have to buy her big bag of food and kitty litter and think to myself "this could buy me a case of diapers which I need much more than a stupid pet".
So enough already! I posted an add on craigslist (again) and received one reply.
A young guy with his younger girlfriend came by to look at her. She freaked and they asked how she was with dogs. Um, not good. So now I wait and wait for some magical cat lover to wisk her to a cat friendly home and ease my frustration and guilt. I know everyone has their opinions about this. And my attitude changes somewhat with my swinging hormone levels. Some say it's just an animal - it doesn't matter. On the other hand it is a living domesticated creature that has feelings and needs to be delt with humanely.
But lets be frank. It's time to admit that I am simply not a cat person, I don't have the temperment or resources to care for her properly, she disgusts me, and I just made a big kitty mistake. So somebody rescue me! er uh, I mean her.
Do you think it's out of line to pray for her to go to a better home? I want to the kind thing (and be a "good person") and not just put her down. Yes yes- that is totally cruel and out of line but not something I haven't thought of. But who the heck adopts an adult cat instead of a kitten?
Anyway, If you have read this far I am totally amazed. I'm just rambling on my little blog about my silly cat woes. But hey, If you or somebody you knows wants a nice cat - you know where to find one!

31 Dates in 31 Days

This is my super cool friend Tamara. She's a hip chick working for Good Morning America and livin' the single life in NY city.

She is also doing a great experiment in dating and posting it on this site:

http://31datesin31days.com/

If you know an awesome dude in the NY area looking for a wholesome date and willing to be blogged about then send this gal a line.

On the bright side.....

Well, thanks for listening and sending a bit of comfort.
I am very grateful for my blessings too. I know I'm loaded with them.
Like the new camera my dear in-laws gave me for Christmas. I'm still trying to figure out all it's cool functions and it reminds me of the days when I had a real hobby. When i fantasized of working for national geographic and traveling the world in search of that one great shot! Okay, I know i was never any good but a girl can dream right? So this gift is extra special to me and feels extremely extravagant in our current circumstances which makes me a little embarrassed to have it, but secretly very giddy ;)
I've also been reading books lately. It's the greatest advantage of insomnia.
I used to read a lot and it makes me super happy but little did I realize how long it had been since I had time to do so (and the neurotic late night compulsion). I think it has been just another aspect of my nesting syndrome. I know how tiered i'll soon be and the fact that this is my last chance for possibly a long long time so im stocking up my brain.
Another fabulous blessing:
I didn't gain any weight this week! for the first time all pregnancy. And if I stay this way then I will be 15lbs less than my first. Don't get me wrong, Im still fat - just not as fat! yay :)
(note: the pictures in the header are from first pregnancy not this one)
And then
something cool happened...
I received these giant boxes of baby clothes from Joanne & Ty. She is Angela's sister who is Doug's wife who is my Mother's brother. Whom I have become much closer with after she died and I happened to find before my wedding. Yes, I am so very blessed to have the Haldeman's in my life. I love love love them!
And so now I have more girl clothes for the first 9 months then I had for dakota in two years!
Wow. Check out this closet!
The only thing I was a little short on were newborn sizes.
Then what do you know - another box arrives from the Terrills crammed full with ity bity baby sizes! Have I ever mentioned how much I love and admire the Terrills (keith's cousins)? Well I do. They have always been so warm and helpful to us. They even put us in their master bedroom last time we went to visit! You don't see that in this country much. They just had their darling little girl Baylie. So next time we visit our girls will be pretty close in age :)
I have always felt to be short on family and a bit of a dissconnect with a few. Especially with the loss of my mother. (Nothing in my life has come close to that pain and maybe I'll talk about that another time).
And though it's true there is no family nearby and never really has been, it's my greatest blessing to reconnect with old relatives, marry into new ones, and create a fresh family of our own.

A little venting when there's no one around to talk to...

I am filled with anxiety every day now. I'm big. I feel very big.
I'm also troubled with worry that there is so much to do, or at least that I'd like to get done, before our arrival. I am stressed by a handful of big ticket items that we haven't been able to get yet and the inevitable increase of living expenses when we can barely manage the basics now. I am exhausted by Dakota and his new phase of demanding all my undivided attention every moment. I try to imagine what one night away from him would be like. Not that I don't totally and utterly love him to the greatest depths only a mother can. It's just, well, a childless weekend (not to mention single day) is something I haven't experienced in over two years and it wouldn't be entirely a bad thing.
I am consumed with the need to organize, systematize, and categorize.
I even made a "Neaman Family Folder" for my mother-in-law when she comes to visit.
(It has pages including: Dakota's daily schedule/ Ideas for activites & outings / take out places nearby & their menus / mapquest directions and of course vital numbers & information.)
Everything feels dirty!
My garbage disposal is broken and there is sink vomit everywhere.
Technically it has been broken for a year now but we keep patching it up with putty. It's beyond putty now.
So we stopped using that half of the sink.
Must keep cleaning.
Picture an up-side-down camel on all fours scrubbing the cracks between the floor boards and vacuuming behind the air vents. Then picture a beached whale with a monkey bouncing on top of her. That's me.

I walk very slowly.
Sometimes I have to stop and just stand there. Even in public.
I'm also lonely. It's not his fault but I sure wish that people would stop doing so many stupid things like stabbing each other, putting their faces on chainsaws, crashing cars & smoking. It makes for a busy hospital, tired doctors and lonely wives.

Not that I'm complaining. I know I know, in another half a decade from now it will all be worth it. Just keep looking ahead. But what about my uterus now? It's tiered.
I'm tiered - yet I can't sleep at night with my mind racing.
I do however get very drowsy right at the moment that Dakota wakes up. Why is that?
Oh my goodness! I just realized that we haven't settled on a name yet!
And the office is a mess
and my photos need to be copied & deleted from my computer
and this pile of cards need to be written and mailed.
Doh! Im out of stamps.
And I haven't finished painting the rooms.
What if my boobs don't work this time?
What if I go early and there is no one available to watch Dakota?
What if Keith can't get covered to be with me?
What if I'm late- ugg - again....
Or if there is a problem.
The ceiling fans look dusty.

Cartoon Nap

Merry Christmas !

We never actually got a shot of all three of us together.

So, I made it happen with the magic of cut & paste! (above)
Oh well.
The last few days together have been so easy going.
A very rare scenario for the Neaman three.
We enjoyed a few little outings together, lots of yummy
food shared with friends, gifts that stayed within our limited budget
(except for one big surprise from Keith's folks), and of course lots and lots of winter white.
We are now back to the ol grind stone but in a content
agreement that our holiday was actually quite pleasant overall.
ahhhh (happy sigh)
Best wishes to you all!

Itinerary Revised

We have simplified the rest of our holiday into one page.
Ahhhhhh, what a wonderful time we are having so far.
We had a lovely & simple trip to the Garden's for today's activity
(I'll post pictures later)
We saw beautiful trees and holiday choo choo!
We lounged and played and foot-rubbed.
Now we are thoroughly chilled and stoked for the fat man to visit.
Bit by bit we are figuring things out
and today, all is good...

but I'm supposed to be the QUEEEEN of Christmas!

This has been a very busy month for Keith. If you totaled the minutes in a week that I got to see him (awake) it may have added up to an hour. So you can imagine that we are pretty excited about his 5 days off for Christmas. We had originally planned on visiting my young aunt & uncle in Missouri but with my degree of pregnantness we eventually decided the trip would be too arduous this year. So instead my brother & his beautiful new wife thought they'd come to visit us! We were excited by this and I tried to get and idea of what they would like to do while here. My brother said he didn't care at all and that I should just consider myself the Queen of Christmas this year. I could plan anything that worked for us and they would come along for the ride. Ho ho ho
So, Keith & I figured the best way to make our little vacation time go smoothly and maximize festiveness would be to design a detailed "Holiday Itinerary". From Friday to Friday. I have scheduled in everything from essential nap times to food shopping & cooking and daily festive activities ranging from visits to Santa, trips to the museum, presents, food & special mommy/daddy alone time ;) We knew of course that we should not be rigged if it were to be successful, so we did this with the understanding that if needed, we could completely cancel a day's activity and just relax at home. (even though relaxing time was officially scheduled too).
Well, Today is day 3 of our N.H.I. (neaman holiday itinerary).
So far: disaster! In fact, we had to have an emergency family council today to completely re-work the entire week!
It all started Friday evening with the Church Party being canceled. I am on the activities committee and so Keith was required to attend. There is a lot of prep that goes into these things (usually) so I was all geared up for it. Then came the snow and it was all called off. No big deal I thought. One less thing to worry about and then we could relax the night before our big Saturday. Instead of a ward Xmas party we decided to have a cookie linger longer on Sunday and I spent some of my day contacting people about the change.
Saturday morning: first mistake - we got a late start. we were scheduled to leave by 10am but didn't get out the door until after 11. We were headed to a mall on the other side of town that we had not been to since last year.
Second mistake: I assumed to know the way. We got lost for an hour and a half. (little upsets my lover more). Then we found it. Our 3-part mission: A. See Santa and get our (to-be-yearly-traditional) photo taken with him. B: Ride on the carousel C: Play at the big tree play yard area. Then get home in time for nap.
Third mistake: We arrived with a screaming toddler to battle the holiday heard shoppers at nap time and tried to carry on anyway. We went in reverse order. First the play yard. Dakota was happy at first then got pushed by a pack of rowdy kids. Much crying and consoling. Then we attempted to get him into it by carrying him up the tree slide and pushing him down. One moment of smiles followed by a face plant on the bottom resulting in a bleeding fat lip. Quick retreat from play area.
Next, carousel. tears gone by now so we asked him if he wanted to go and he responded Yes. Waited in line, paid for token and waited to start. They took 10 seconds longer than a this toddler could handle and a teary second retreat began.
At this point I am feeling a great deal of pressure in my uterus and Keith is fed up with people in his way and all the screaming. We decide to skip Santa and maneuver our way home.
Get home. Dakota takes a late/short nap.
Time for Phase two of our super Saturday holiday fun. Buy a Tree.
I would have liked to get one much earlier but like I said, Keith has been far too busy this month for us to do anything together. This was the perfect time. Or so we thought.
In the dark, on the ice, two sold-out places later we decided to go home empty handed and just start baking cookies for tomorrow's linger longer. Four batches. Day 2- a bust.
Sunday:
Since we have not been able to get together as a family much lately, we also have not been able to get a Xmas photo taken. (I always like to take something festive for our cards, hence they have not been made yet.) Well, we had arranged for a friend to take it at church in the snow today.

I have a funny sort of chronically-late-to-church syndrome so we made a drastically huge effort to get everything ready in advance and a clear division of morning duties made. As I was getting ready this morning I looked out the window and realized that the photo would not be happening today. Oh well, we had a photo plan "B" for my brother to take it at meijer gardens.
So all dressed up in my Xmas best (even managed to squeeze into my maternity support hose!), we grabbed our pre-stocked kid activity bag, a month's worth of tithing, and my 4 dozen cookies and we flipped on our 4W drive and made it to church ON TIME!
Only to find nobody there and that it had been canceled.
This time of course we just laughed. After all it's only church; not like a photo with Santa or anything :)
Back at home we called around for a place to buy a tree. First three we tried said they were done for the season. Then we found one with only 5 left! So we left immediately to gleam what we could. This resulted in another missed-nap-time-breakdown and wonkily fabulous tree
Then the bomb hit.
My Brother & sister-i-L decided not to make the trip out because of the weather.
BUT MY ITINERARY!!!!!! All our activities! Their Gifts! The Lentil Nut Loaf!!!
I'm the Queen! (stomp stomp)
and my kingdom is collapsing......

This is where I decided to screw the itinerary and let my son go ahead and drive the car.

Snowed In

The darn cat woke me up today at 2am and I could not get to sleep after that. So by the time the mailman came I was pretty excited to get out. The only thing was, it had been blizzardy all morning and just getting to the mailbox was about to prove quite the project. I had to get all dressed up anyway so I figured I'd make a pathway; just in case a package were to arrive today ;)
We have a service (thanks to my dad) that is supposed to clear the driveway (though not the walkway) but the roads are so bad today that they never made it. Humpf. Seems like this is when we need it the most (and the mailman made it come to think of it). It took me over an hour just make one little walkway. All that for one bill and junk! The best part was watching my neighbor with his nifty snow-blower ignore the 8-month pregnant lady toiling away the whole time. Ah Michigan ;)

Zerberks!

Always good for a laugh

First time finger painting

Yes it has taken us a long time to get to this.
I've been meaning to introduce him to paint for a long time but have been fearful of yet another catastrophic mess.
It turned out pretty well and controlled however and he produced the most fabulous art I've ever seen!
I'm now thinking "mural"!

Snosages for dinner

Listen carefully and you can hear him snoring :)

Light 'em up!

I've been feeling pretty good about myself for getting the lights up back in September.
(even if I was teased a little)
Thank goodness too because I'm way too sick and uncomfortable now for such projects.
Twinkle lights are one of my most favorite things about Christmas and some day I plan on having one of those obnoxiously loud decorated front yards that all the neighbors go out of their way to come see.

Of course for now in our little place, for which we are so thankful,
this will have to do.....

Happy Eating everyone

Thank You Friends & Family

For all the great toys!
I love playing with them and am grateful to have you in my life.