Today is Sasha Elliott's BIRTHDAY!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

And what a gal she is!
She's sporty - triathalon sporty!
And spiritual - she took me through the temple my first time

She's smart - with a degree in dietetics :)
She's hard working - as a dietician and much more
she's goal oriented - or at least trying to be
she has a loving relationship with her mother
she's funny, she's cute!, she's great to be with
And she has a sexy south african accent.



So let's throw this girl a PARTY!!!!!

what better way to turn 26 than with a big colorful PARTY!!!!!!!!!!!!!!


With tons of kooky people like us!


This Saturday @ 7:00pm at my place :)

Oh what fun this will be!

A patriarch once told me to love my mother; that she takes pain upon herself for my life.

My father once told me to love Jesus; that he takes pain upon himself for my life...

Dear Mother, Dear Jesus,

I'm sorry i cause you so much pain.

Im sorry i didnt understand you.

Are you watching me now?

Are you knowing my heart?

Do you hear the secrets im wispering to you now?

Was your death so necessary?

Will I ever understand? Will I ever forget?

Will I really know you again?

To hold you? And be held?

Are you both together now? Laughing at me?

crying for me?

waiting?

waiting....

Grrrr!
Growllll....

..SNARL even!!!

oooh we really got mad at each other this time.

it was supposed to be a special treat to come along with me to seattle. Oh the love we can share just being together in the car. But don't be fooled people. Being together in a big clumsy van during friday seattle rush hours in the pouring rain backed up from an accident, looking for the right roads,hungry, tiered and anxious with things to do and 3 hours turning to 6 and just being told you have to come back up and do it again on sunday
is not a good way to strengthen a marriage.

bitch
moan
yell
slamm
get out and walk in the rain
drive in silence
punch the dash
get home late
say sorry
tickle fight
sleep in a loving embrace

okay well it sucked but we're learning.

Look how busy I am!
Busy busy busy
Driving driving driving
work work work
no time to play
no time to clean
no time to love

And definately no time to write in a silly blog.

Pumpkins! Pumpkins! Pumpkins! Everywhere!

I love Pumpkin flavoured stuff!
My mother loved pumpkin flavoured stuff.
Part of me likes it because she liked it.
Part of me likes it because it's a special seasonal treat.
But most of me likes it cause it's so dang Yummy...




Today I had the best bagel EVER.
A Pumpkin bagel with whipped Pumpkin cream cheese

I will dream of this Pumpkin Bagel tonight :)

What colors does my heart see?


What passion lies in my soul?
What burnings do I feel?
What secrets do I clench inside?

The moon asked me these questions as I woke this morning.
But I cant tell all my heart's secrets! Especially when they are still a cloud to me.

My soul often reviels itself to me in my dreams. But I don't allways listen. And sometimes I think I choose to ignore, for the sake of the illusion of peace.

My current dreams are a blending of my old life with my new life. These are two very distinctly different lives. but i am reminded that they touch. And I cannot erase my past.
Last night my dreams reminded me that though there are parts of my old life that i hate, or regret, that there are still parts (or people) that I love. I love them a lot. And this is okay. More so, this is good. I must accept this love - even though it means swimming through bitterness.


Dear Australia, mother bonnie, brothers and mitt, Do you think of me and miss me? Or do you hate me for confusing you with hurt. Do you know how much pain i was in? Do you not see the nessecity in my leaving. I did what I had to do but I wish I had done it differently. At the time I felt very trapped. But I am stronger now and would that i could have been kinder. I would have done many things differently. But my love is still strong for you. I seek an exchange of forgivness and peace. I seek understanding and patient love. I wish you all manner of goodness in your lives. And i incorporate your essense into life and soul.



Mother I love you and I am sorry for so much. Especially not holding you that last time we were together. I am sorry that sometimes the thought of you frightens me. Maybe because I sense you. I am sorry that sometimes I hate you. I am sorry i was such a bitch to you. I am so Damn mad that i did not stop you from dying! If I knew i would have been there to see you go crazy. You never would have turned blue. I am stronger now and could protect you now. but would you kill me? Are you better off where you are? Are we all? I hate to think that. And so, I hoist you up and choose to see you as the Goddess you are. You fly on the strings of a violin. You are the one who brought tears to laughter. You will hover over my life with your influence.
I honor you - I honor you - I honor you Blessed Mother.


Father where were you? I missed you and needed you so much! I stood over her body alone. I played on vacations alone. I ate dinner alone. I moved mountains alone! What were you thinking about as you quietly listened to her rant and rave? Where were you every night as you looked up at screens. I wanted you to see me, to play with me, to teach me more more more. So much was her fault and not yours. She was just a little stronger that you - for a while. I am trying to not be jealous of the life you are giving your new family. I pray everyday for the charity of heart to love them. And i will continue to try - I am stronger now. You have given me strength many times over. I had allways believed you were one step down from Jesus. And maybe you are. You are just as difficult to see but I still have faith in you too.

What Burns in my Soul?

The lightning streaks of those I've loved.

The foreshadow of those who will come. I can see them knocking eagerly. I am conflicted by this world and theirs. My list is too long to complete in time and so I will have to learn to let go and grab tight, To prioritize, To be strong, To learn fast,

To Love

Flowers from the gas station on date day!

This sequence portrays the fun we had when we realized that we could make our hands streak in the picture when we moved it fast. The faces were an inevitable by-product.








Thats my Keith!

drivin cool


drivin fishy


Freeze sucka



We love to shop



I still love fish

Can anyone tell me how you put a picture up in the index under "About me" ?

Im a little computer retarded...

please help :)

Rice & Gusi (pronounced: goose eye)

This is a simple yet essential traditional Saxey family recipe handed down from my great great great grandmother from Jerusalem.

Keith doesnt like it but you can't trust his culinary tastes. He doesnt like anything with a vegtable in it.



These are the only ingredients you need for the Gusi (plus salt & pepper to taste)

Just put a chunk of butter in a pot on med low heat
Plop in equal amounts of med sized chopped : Onion, Tomatoe, & Zuccini
Then sprinkle a dash of Mace.

*This is an interesting spice that is not used much in American cusine. It has a distinct flavour and is used much more widley in the middle esast. On my travels through Morroco I found very good quality mace in a spice shop. The man there had his wife hand grind it for me and i brought back a big bag of it for my Grandfather (God rest his soul). That batch was slightly different then what you can get in the markets here but it is still quite good.




This is and Indian eggplant. I normally hate eggplant but I like this smaller version because the consistency is stronger when cooked. I discovered this from my brother Roderick at a Thai resturant this summer.
Tonight I added it to my Gusi and it was okay!



Let all the ingredients simmer in a covered pot till its kind of soft and nice n juicy





Then put it on rice and enjoy a taste of the old country!

I welcome you Autumn!!!!

My city has turned beautiful bright

The air is crisp and clear




The colors stop me in my tracks and force me to take notice




I arrange you on my front porch
I devour you in my pumpkin cookies and
I savour you in the refreshing change you bring me.

I welome you Autumn!

Good Bye Summer.....



I'll miss your berries



I'll miss your warm beach



I'll miss your sunny day fun...

My goofy SundaySchool class


Alex, Tyler, Katie, Christy, Adam


They were kind of difficult today. Keith normally does the teaching without any input from me. He's in San francisco now at a surgical convention so i prepared it all by myself. I was even a little proud of myself for prepareing the day before with little handouts and everything...



I was irritated today. They are 16, 17, &18 and the lesson was boring.
I looked at the clock 3 times and just wanted to go home.



I ended 15 minutes early and gave them all a candied prickly pear from the middle east.



So much for teaching with the spirit.

me}


Trudy}

Riding Puff by the lake in front of the "cabin" on the beach!

I said I'd tell you how the weekend went,,, It was lovely. Except that i was a bit sick (which got worse when i came back) but we still had a great time.

I showed up late of course and was very tired. My friends Trudy & her husband with two little girls were allready there cooking in the kitchen. She's a hoot and one of my new favorite people to be with. Im her visiting teacher and she's my apartment manager. besides that we're just cool ass buds.

Also there was my other favorite cool ass bud Sasha the awsome! she brought her cool ass bud Marci. They slept in the boat house with Keith & me.

Jonelle & her boyfriend Kurt (from my work), Keith's brother Chris & girlfriend lisa, Greg, Mike & Carly w/ 2 little boys, Jared & Joyce, shannon,Gsomething, Tracy, Rose ,Jennifer and a handfull of other med students i cant remember their names...

In the morning Keith & I and 4 other girls went for a run on the beach. It was thick with fog and the color of the sky, sea and land all seamed to blend together only to be separated by the white crests moving in and the little stick feet of the birds running with a thousand quick steps on the sand. It felt like I was running into a dream.

but i was tiered and slow. Keith styed with me determined that we have a quality weekend together (seemingly dissapointed in my low condition)

the rest of the time was filled with 4weeling through the woods, feeding the fish (or them feeding us) riding horses, playing with kids, watching movies, sitting in the hot tub, exploring the houses, and of course eating.

everybody was happy doing their own thing. Dinner was a free for all with a dozen cooks in the giant kitchen and a table lenghted for 20 spread for feasting. we has fresh salmon cooked on the bbq, mashed potatoe, big green salad, juicy steak, fresh fruit, cookies, cake etc......
all & all Very nice.
We stopped for dinner at keith's parents house the last day
Hugs & kisses now we're home.

I just woke up from a dream that I was trapped in an australian prison.
Keith and I were sick last night. I've been feeling bad for a few days but he finally caught up with me. In the middle of the night i woke up covered in sweat and turned to find keith sipping a pepsi that he just went out to get for his upset tummy. He said this hurt I said that hurt then after a thoughtful pause he said
It sucks when we're both sick because we both want simpathy....
I rolled back to sleep with one arm over him.

The worst happened last night.
I drove the 6 hours to bellingham with a stop in seattle to get a few things.
Then when i was setting up and so excited to be done, i realized that i had grabbed the wrong adaptors.
AAAAAAAAAHHHH!!!!!
Scream! Yell! Swear!
Back 2 hours and back again two more hours

I turned my 6 hr drive into a 10 hr Ordeal.
All along listening to a creepy anti mormon book on tape.

I feel foggy today...

This is the inspiration I am sometimes lucky to be filled with on these long and arduous trips I am about to embark on once again. Especially when i leave at 3am and return long after dark. On those terrible days I am blessed with twice the color and awe. Unfortunately they are such short lived moments of glory....




The rest of my time is spent looking at this.

Yes I am off to bellingham again. I found this out yesterday which sucks on my weekend plans! which are to spend at the "cabin" on the coast with friends.
Its okay its okay.
Im just going to drive straight there on the 6 hour way back.
I should arrive about midnight if im lucky.
Im in a bit of a sour mood because of this.
I guess i am looking forward to the several books on tape ahead of me though...

Ill tell you how it goes when i get back

Is Milk Evil?






http://www.mercola.com/article/milk/no_milk.htm

http://www.ebaumsworld.com/flash/milkandcereal.html

http://www.911healthshop.com/goatein.html

http://www.notmilk.com/

http://www.moomilk.com/

http://www.milksucks.com/index2.html

http://www.got-milk.com/

http://www.stonyfield.com/

http://www.milk.co.uk/

http://members.tripod.com/~josquin/milk.htm

What kind of emotional response does this give you?